Burning Midnight

Dedicated to the creator of Jaws :D

Night 1

The lampposts flicker and burn, every 10 seconds they turn silently dim and their light looks like fatty yellow butter in deep puddles on the asphalt. Then they turn off for 30 seconds, burn back brightly for 10 seconds, deep intense white shallow light. From outside I don't know whether anyone can see me our not. See me sitting on the bed wrapped in two jackets hood pulled up track pants long socks thick blanket, because I'm right by the window I'm freezing my ass of but I don't really wanna move away. Burn burn flicker.

Night 2

The tiny portable heater is on and burring on a chair at the foot of the bed; there are many people here lightning cigarettes standing near the heater staring out the window. The room becomes filled with smoke but nobody wants to or knows how to open the windows. Someone fiddles with it but gives up. Most people fade out of my room to go to different parts of the very large house. Some people stay and sleep on the floor; someone opens the door for a while and all the smoke blows away except for a small cloud that blows in an out of my vision. The lights are kept on.

Night 3

There is only one person here tonight my friend. He is my only friend staying in the house he keeps moving in and out of the room. He finds the remote for the dual air conditioner, it starts blowing hot air. The portable heater sits in the corner. He comes in with a mattress, then later pillows, then later sheets and later two large blankets. He moves around the room tense for lack of nicotine. I offer him something to smoke and he lits up leaning his head out the window blowing out ash; teeth clattering every time he takes the cigarette out of his mouth. He moves through 1 and a half packs at one go. He shuts the window whens hes done and hides the second half finished box under his pillow. He turns the lights off and gets under the blanket. I leave the curtain slightly open so I can still look outside while lying down. I don't fall asleep until the sun starts to come up.

Night 4

My friend is here still. We have a hot plate here and plugged into the wall. There are, as usual, no cars on the street; there are no cars on the nearby highway. When I was a kid I used to count the time interval between passing cars on the freeway. The maximum it could get to was 10 seconds. The dual conditioner is still on and we are still wrapped up in thick clothes and thick blankets. He eats 12 peanut butter sandwiches and smokes 2 packs head out the window. There is a couple on the far side of the room on a very small mattress one of them is talking while the other one listens.

Night 5

My friend isn't here; but there are so many people here now. Just like the first night. We are all staring out the window now not just me. The heater has been on and has been always on ever since. Nobody is smoking, sometimes people leave the room to go smoke in the hall. The couple are staring out the round glass window in their section of the room, they're kneeling on their mattress their hair is ruffled. There are no cars on the highway same as always. The lights keep burning and flickering and when they turn off everyone holds their breath a little longer till they burn back on again; except me. I keep breathing small shallow breaths the whole time street lamps on or off.

A car finally pulls up on the street; a very old car that we all share. My friend walks out and looks up at the window of the very large house. But he can't see us; everyone sighs relieved and some people pat each other on the back and laugh. Somebody pulls out booze from the inner coat of his jacket, every other guy follows suit. The all pull the cigarette out of their pockets and a girl in trench coat walks around lighting them all. The couple lean back down on the mattress the boy kisses the girl on the nose; I pull the curtains closed and brush my pillow. Everyone enjoys themselves; I can hear my friend in the kitchen gathering food and drinks too bring in. Somebody turns to me; someone who went out too; who we all waited for once before; he puts his hand on my shoulder and gives me a cigarette and a lighter. Everyone looks at me as a lit up. First one everyone asks. Yes, I reply. I inhale eyes closed and I don't choke any of it out. I take second and third blows.

My friend comes in and looks at me; he gives me a nod cause I'm next. I look at him: yeah I know. He comes down to sit beside me and we never look out the window again.

On Waking Naps

A half hearted historic adventure written years ago, on napping. I'm so easily inspired.


Half awake and half asleep is like drifting slightly. I imagine it would be something like a person who has been floating around the sea crashed and thrashed by the slipping and slapping waves, then the person gets dragged towards the shore towards the foam and the curl. Half the body on the shore and the legs and feet and waist are being licked and flicked by the waves coming in. Then the person wakes up grogilly. Huh what the person mutters and stummers, but water slips into the persons mouth, sea water and sand. The person gets the sensation of being in between two different things. Top body, arms, neck, torso, face hair, lips, ears, are against the grit and sand, somewhat damp and drying. Then the person realises that the person's legs are being washed by the foam, it makes a soft sound when it breaks on you. Like a million tiny pebbles the size of ants being thrown on you.
But being asleep isn't exactly like drowning and being thrown around by waves. So to be more accuarate about it its like a mermaid being dragged to shore. Mermaids enjoy the sea right? Probably just a sleeping mermaid caught by an underwater current. When the mermaid wakes up it'll probably say, this is interesting and then dive right back.

Even if I open my eyes completely it would still take a while for things to get focused. For the moment that pillow looks like a cracker in negative tin tone. I turn around and close my eyes again, I don't even notice that I've fallen back asleep, when I wake up again I'm almost surprised. Eyes still closed it feels like a deepish grey colour has enveloped you and surrounded you completely. I realise after about two seconds the sound of a dog barking, it comes back muffled and filtered, like the surrounding colour has sort of absorbed the essence of a sound. This is the only time when a sound can actually lose substance. In a way it sounds distant and far away. But if you hear a phone ringing from the next house it still has substance, it penetrates the surroundings with complete clarity all it loses is its amplitude. When listening to a phone ringing all I can think is who the fuck is gonna answer that. Its just a matter of simple distance. And waiting for Who The Fuck to answer the phone.
The dog bark feels like it came from somewhere else, somewhere relatively nearby but this place has colour and clarity and canines. This place has only grey blank barks with no dog to bark it. I close my eyes again and slip into sleep again with anybody noticing, even I don't notice. I roll in and out again and again. I wake up again and the dog is still barking, I keep my mind focused on the dog and it becomes less and less far away and less and less empty. The sound of someone cooking comes into. I stay on the bed eyes closed stretching. I have to physically force myself to open up my eyes and sit up.

*
Everything is black, convinced that my dream is reality I sit up the phone rings. In my room Who The Fuck is me this time. I groan and huh in my own mind and after a few seconds of the slit eyed view the colour comes swimming and swirling in. Imagine yourself watching something. In front of you you can see a pipe and then the water pours and and it swoams and furls and curls and foams and floods and fills. Swish Swish Swash until your whole view becomes drenched. That is how the colour comes in, then I recognise things and for half a second I think: this is a dream. Then I realise you have a job, I pick up the phone. The person on the other line asks if I am okay. I say yes. I rub my eyes. Ah this is it then, I think, this is a sleeping hangover....
The person on the other lines continues the conversation. I grunt and say yes while nodding at the same time. A nap now? Yes.
*

Emperio Armani

So we have a black and white scene set out for us

Camera cuts to diamonds falling on the floor

Silhoutte of a chick standing by a mic

Then the lights flash on

Its Beyonce with a bid band behind her

Are they holding saxaphones or what or WHO CARES ITS BEYONCE! :D

So shes standing by the mic wearing this shinyyyy shinny mini dress

If it wasnt black and white, honestly al the sequins would hurt my eyes but thank god for the lack of colour

So her hairs flying everywhere and she grabs the mic 

''DIAMONDSS ARE A GIRLS BEST FRIENDSS''

Then they shift back to the diamonds falling down

Is that a bottle in the background? Oh wait they've cut back to Beyonce

''Diamonds'' TUN<> ''Are A'' ''Girls Best Friend!!!~~~~~~~~''

Then they cut to the chase emperio armani new diamond cologne blah blah blah

Then to cut it off Beyonce giving a kick ass smile to the camera

Better then Irreplacable. I from now on heart Emperio Armani.

And Beyonce. I'm taping that add next time I see it. Yeahhhh

The Science Poem ;)

Thou are part for the science stream?

Trust me my pity is more then it seems

While you learn about acids and molecular matter

Me and Chris standing by both doubled in laughter

Remember that Youlin's still hiding from you

While you're asking her stuff you're too stupid to do

Chemistry seems like another disaster

Put in a catalyst so it'll boil away faster

Why when its biology nobody asks Simba?

The stuff on the trip, come on you rememberr ;)

Grasping some quick notes shouting out chemicals

Learning the parts of a mans,,,teste-teste testicles?

'The what? Oesophagus? And the er er the uvula!!"

"Everyone chill but I think we lost Julia!!"

A Literature Rant

My brains at ease now. Severly at ease. Sometimes this happens. my head feels so relaxed and i can't really concentrate. I'm listening to smother me by the used. 

So i feel like i can stop studying but if i break it down im not too prepared. But if i force myself nothings gonna go in my head so i see no more point

I know the plot of village by the sea... But I havent read it but i know if they ask me character questions i  can do it. Im pretty good at breaking down characters and figuring out what their about. I read summary notes on taming of the shrew and I have a few quotes written down but not all memorized. But once again, if they ask about the marraiges and katherina and petwuchio i can totally handle it. katherinas speech has me a little stumped but i peform better if i just let the words flow out on the paper instead of over thinking. i dont have critics but i'll get tht in the morning. i actually studied the short stories so im cool. poems all i've done is read when we two parted and la belle dame sans merci. so im doing un seen. obviuosly. I forgot how i even used to study for poems previously. so im gonna do the unseen poem and im sure it'll be ok.i did well in assessments didnt i?

but i cant force myself to study more then the little tht i've already done or else it will be useless. the best i can do for myself is to relax and get sleep. thats the most i can mke of things right now and so i've concluded it. i feel confident actually,,,,,i must come across as pretty lazy but im nto making excuses or anything like tht. its just tht im not conventional in they way i think or do things, conventional ppl are gonna be reading this and saying wth shes so lazyy or something like tht. honestly i cant get my brain to do anymore. forcing something doesnt work out. it'll break haha

and now im explaining village by the sea to eric . thts studying ok!!

Cardboard Box Dreams and Baby Im Trying ;)

The exam week seems to stretchh onn and onn

since arts there my weeks the longest

im exhausted i wait for the weekend so i can finally catch up on sleep but even tht doesnt happen

so lemme think the weekdays i get 3hrs maximum sleep,,,including naps in the afternoon at chris's house and the art room

then in the weekends i get maybe,,,,7hrs which still isnt enuff right??!!

my brain moves and works weirdly

the main reason i stay up so late is cause my mind needs to relax for a while n it takes me 10minutes to figure out how to relax

then i do it for an hour

if i didnt have all these breaks then i could get more sleep

but less would go in my head so anything works i guess

napping at chris's place today

id read a few lines of half brothers n next thing i know im dreaming about cardboard boxess

then chris hits me n i wake up,,she says i was drooling n then she goes MICHAAELLL!!

since the summer i've been with chris so much

i went to her place at least once a week for a night or two in the summer

and we talked about crap

im  a regular at her place we chill and relax and go grocery shopping and be weird

the guard knows me really well lol

and we just chill,,,discuss how everything changed

and how pink sayfol looks frm her place

how we can hear the primary kids up in her room in the 15th floor

im not kidding we can hear them shouting AHHHHHHHHH

and miss kay on the mic PLS LINNEEE UPPP

and i can practically see whos who frm way up there

today school was deserted by 3'o'clock and thts messed up

empty and weird

i cant wait for lit n physics to be over

i have thursday and friday off so im finally gonna get all the sleep i could ever want

i'll be knocked out for hours i know it

back to studying

must start on village by the sea

yawn

hopefully be done in 2-3hrs cause i read slow

another all night study session

im getting used to it

its relaxing almost

if not for the impeding clock

thst a bit of a pain.....